Fluent Essays

PEER RESPONSES: You need to respond to at least 3 classmates by Sunday, March 28. Respond in the text box to all of the below questions (or by uploading a PDF with your responses). You will not be completing a rubric for this peer reviews. No late feedback! PEER REVIEW QUESTIONS Use the questions below to provide feedback to at least 3 students: INTRODUCTION SECTION QUESTIONS How does the introduction begin? (a quote, a story, shocking statistic, other) Does it work well? If not, make suggestions. How would you describe the style or mood of the introduction? Is it appropriate for an academic essay? Does the introduction gradually introduce the topic, then the problem, before getting to the thesis? If not, how could it be improved? (One exception is if a shocking statistic/quote is used as a hook) What problem is the writer going to write about in his/her essay? Is it focused on something that could be deeply covered in a research paper? Is it clear why this problem significant or important, according to the writer? How complete is the introduction – does it need to be longer or shorter (should be at least 1 page, but not over 2)? Is it obvious that the writer has a thorough plan for the essay, or does the introduction sound like a very rough overview with no clear focus?  PROBLEM SECTION QUESTIONS Is “the problem” clearly stated and described in this section? Is the problem narrowed enough so that it could be fully discussed in one essay? If its too big, give suggestions to focus it more. Does the writer provide support (sources/quotes/evidence) for the information given about the problem?  If so: Is the support adequately used, or does it go off-topic? Is support over-used so that there are more quotes than the writer’s words? Are quotes properly integrated with quote sandwiches? If there is no support: suggest areas that need more evidence/support from other sources. How complete is this section of the research paper – does it need to be longer or shorter? (Should be about 3+ pages in the final essay) Remember: essay 3 must be 8+ pages total, not counting the Works Cited. Do you feel that the paper gives you a thorough overview of the problem, the people/places/etc. affected, as well as details about the problem? In other words, does it prove that this problem is a problem? Again, be honest: Is it obvious that the writer has done research on the problem at this stage of the paper? Are you convinced this is a research essay, or is this just a “plan”? Give feedback on how complete this part of the paper is, and what else is still needed. Give feedback on any editing, style, or MLA errors in the essay, and include specific examples of at least a couple if you find any.Powers1 Chad Powers Professor Misaghi English 1 26 March 2021 America’s Homeless Epidemic Life is an interesting thing because no matter what, things are always going to be changing. Now sometimes these changes are for the good and sometimes they are for the bad. One major change that can affect a persons life for the worse is by ending up homeless. While many Americans try to avoid this harsh truth, homelessness is a constantly growing epidemic in this country. The threat of homelessness isn’t a new issue in the United States, it has been plaguing this country for centuries. According to an article titled History of Homelessness from the organization Invisible People, the first ever “historical case of homelessness” in the U.S. was back in the “1640’s”(Invisible People). The article explains how the uprooting of the native population from “European settlers” caused conflicts that arose and led to both Native Americans and Europeans to become homeless. In the present time people are much more likely to experience being homeless than in days gone by. There are many things that can cause a person to end up homeless and it hasn’t been our countrys main concern to figure out how these people ended up on the streets. I personally have known two people who have ended up on the streets and knowing a bit of their stories sheds some light on the issue at hand, and it brings an understanding on how to potentially solve it. No matter what the causes are they need to be discovered and dealt with appropriately. The issues of homelessness that’s been on the rise in the United States are only going to get worse unless something is done about the lack of jobs, the poor execution of mental health programs, and the threat of natural disasters. Powers2 Job loss and outsourcing have been key factors in people becoming homeless. Over the last year alone unemployment has jumped from “5.72 million in Feb 2020” to “9.97 million in Feb 2021”(Statista). During the recent and ongoing Covid-19 pandemic, it is estimated that “over 8 million people” in the United States have become unemployed (Flaming, 19). In Los Angeles, a city that was hit tremendously hard by the pandemic, “homelessness among working-age adults” has seen a 100 percent increase in the past year (28). Much of this is caused by a “less forgiving” economy, low wages and high cost of living (28). When the pandemic started in the beginning of last year many jobs were deemed nonessential. An article from the website betterteam.com gave a list of employees that were seen as nonessential. Anything from “hairdressers, waiters and waitresses, and non food related workers” many of which make minimum wage were let go from their jobs (betterteam). When these people lose their jobs and source of income they aren’t able to make rent payments. Now as of March 27, 2020 the CARES Act passed Section 4022, that provides temporary relief on “foreclosures” for people who have “borrowedAtayde 1 Samantha Atayde Professor Misaghi ENGL 1 2022, 2036 21 March 2021 The world is filled with unjust problems that occur on a daily basis. It is honestly hard to be able to determine which ones are more important, because it wouldn’t be right, all problems are equally important. Some unjust acts are more common in certain areas than they are in others. Although there are many problems in our world, the one problem that is imbedded within our society that has always seemed the most unjust to me: racial profiling. For those who many not know what racial profiling is, it’s honestly pretty simple, people (usually minorities) are targets simply based on their race. Something as simple as ones race can be cause for suspicion on a crime being committed. Racial profiling comes from any and everyone, but the problem with this comes when people are being racially profiled by people with power, people who we are expected to have our best interests, those who we believe with protect us. Throughout our history racial profiling has always existed, there is honestly no shortage, however within the last decade there has been a huge uproar whenever police officers commit unthinkable acts due to racial profiling. This is a major problem that has occurred in our past, continues to occur in our present, and if we do nothing, it will continue to occur in our future community. Many do not see the problem with this because it is not their category of people being targeted. They do not know the fear the minorities live with daily, or the many different precautions that minorities have to take in which they don’t. Now is the time to band together and come up with a solution to this problem. Atayde 2 In my community, racial profiling occurs on a daily basis and comes mostly from people who have some sort of power, like the Los Angeles police department officers. I also want to mention that although this occurs in my community, my community and I are not the only ones that are affected by racial profiling, as it has also occurred in other cities and other states showing it is a countrywide, and perhaps even a worldwide problem. This is not something that has no evidence to back it up, there has been proof along with statistics to prove that Los Angeles police officers are targeting minorities like Hispanics and African-Americans. However while there has been evidence to prove what is going on, the evidence is usually quickly dismissed or not even acknowledged. Along with all of the overwhelming evidence, there have also been several, well known and trusted news outlets have also spoken out on the injustice from the racial profiling being an issue with the Los Angeles Police Department as well as within our country. The major issues with racial profiling is that innocent / the wrong people for actually being accused of being “gang-affiliated”, innocent people are being murdered, and guily people are getting away with breaking tPineda 1 David Pineda Prof. Angelina Misaghi English 1 March 12, 2021 Research Paper Draft Playing under the brightest lights, crowd chanting, pressure at its highest, with games on the line; this is why we watch college sports. It is undeniable that college sports take the whole country by storm when their respected seasons come around. We eagerly wait around to see what new talent is going to rise from the pack and become a household name. This repeats year after year and we see these new waves of athletes each bringing something different to the sport. From a fans perspective what else can we ask for? These athletes keep us at the edge of our seats and once one wave of players has gone on to bigger and better things a new wave comes and continues entertaining us. However, when the perspective changes to an athletes point of view we begin to see it a little different. As amazing as being a college level athlete might sound there are many challenges and obstacles that they endure. For instance having a national spotlight as you try your best as a 18 or 19 year old kid to make it from the amateurs to the pros. Perhaps its trying to manage 6 hour a day of practice and the 10 hours a day of school related activities. But none of these challenges compare to the biggest obstacle that these young athletes face. If you pay close attention you can see that year after year these athletes are being exploited by the NCAA. College athletes are being exploited by the NCAA; they are highly marketable players and never Pineda 2 see the money that they generate. As wholesome as the NCAA can seem there is much going on behind the scenes. The NCAA and the Universities are million dollar organizations and are tasked with promoting and marketing these young athletes. Now it is sad to say but these young athletes are getting the short end of the stick. The more popular these national events grow the more that these students are robbed and it shows a real and unforgivable discrepancy. The fact that the NCAA is exploiting these young athletes is clear. Although there are many ways in which this is happening, I was able to find that there are two very distinctive ways that they exploit these student athletes. One of the ways is by having these students train like professional athletes and priorities their athletic careers over their academic ones. The other way is the more obvious one and of course the most impactful, the financial exploitation of the athletes. How does having long days of training affect these young student athletes? So by requiring long days of training and in some cases not giving them enough time in a day to deal with their financial problems, like for example getting a job. These students tend to have an issue with having a full energy draining day of training and still having to deal with their academics. Now according to an article called “Student Athletes Say NCAA ‘Exploited’ Them in Antitrust Trial”