Fluent Essays

250 word peer review Susendran 1 Nivita Susendran Professor Navarro English 1A 7 October 2021 Outline ● Based on an array of articles, the way that the argument is presented plays a vital role and ultimately allows people to widen the perspectives of others in a way that will affect the most people. ● The author uses all forms of rhetorical devices but mainly focuses on Pathos when mentioning the impact of the budget cuts in art. ● Through the usage of Pathos, the author manages to recreate the scene they experienced, and relate it to something that is familiar. ● There are many instances where the author elaborates on the importance of art, and the positive feedback that art receives. ● In this work, there is a certain anchoring bias towards the city of New York rather than the United States education system as a whole. ● This chapter utilizes an array of Cause and Effect situations to emphasize the issues of budget cuts in New York City. ● The author crafts statements that lean towards a formerly bleak voice regarding the art scene in NYC schools, but shifts to more determined statements in anticipation of a possibly brighter future in art. ● In many ways, California schools relate to the NYC troubles with the arts through their performance with budget cuts. Susendran 2 ● Though California may struggle with budget cuts in art for the curriculum, it is slowly taking a turn for the better. Susendran 3 Nivita Susendran Professor Joseph Navarro English 1A 7 October 2021 Painting a Budget Cut Here or There? Art is a form of expression that can be seen in everything. From paintings on the walls to even a simple gesture, it impacts how society perceives the world. However, though the arts flourish in society, it is limited in school districts due to budget cuts. The arts are something that often gets overlooked in favor of testing and other more academic pursuits. Because of this, it is often difficult to persuade the education system to incorporate arts more into the curriculum. Based on an array of articles, the way that the argument is presented plays a vital role and ultimately allows people to widen the perspectives of others in a way that will affect the most people. The author uses all forms of rhetorical devices but mainly focuses on Pathos when mentioning the impact of the budget cuts in art. When mentioning the budget cuts in art at different schools in New York City, the author often appeals to the emotions of the reader. They utilize the emotional rollercoasters that students in these classes experience, and how those experiences allow the students to flourish. Students and educators are the focal points of the article, as the “children were amazed and exhausted by how much work was in- volved” (63). Though these students go through these emotions, the author connects us to how they are feeling, and in doing so, connects us to the problem that the schools are facing which is the repeated budget cut of arts education. Susendran 4 Through the usage of Pathos, the author manages to recreate the scene they experienced, and relate it to something that is familiar. Everyone is familiar with different teaching methods, and by introducing the Elvis Phone, where the “The children talked of not being good at a sport, of feeling unliked by friends or unloved by family, and about the pressures from their families to achieve, to get into good schools, and to practice an instrument” (63). Everyone relates to these issues, and it is indicative of the Pathos device that the author decided to use this anecdote specifically. When the author uses Pathos in these instances, it appears to be more effective than the other rhetorical devices of Ethos or Logos would be. There are many instances where the author elaborates on the importance of art, and the benefits that come with it. The author mentions artists that teach their students “that experiencing an art- work can be an occasion to articulate a point of view, to think about var- ious ideas, and to think critically about their environments” (66). This example establishes the importance of art, while also making it seem more serious than it is often perceived. In doing so, the author creates a sense of importance within the piece. When using these examples, they reinstate the thesis in a way that is easier for the audience to connect to. In this work, there is a certain anchoring bias towards the city of New York rather than the United States education system as a whole. New York City is the main setting for this piece. However, it is not the only city that is going through the issue of budget cuts in art programs. The author mentions that they “graduated from a New York City public elementary school” (51) which emphasizes the anchoring bias towards the city. The author feels an affinity for the city due to their personal connections and delves deeper into the education system because of it. With this bias, however, they seem to neglect speaking or writing about other states and major cities where these issues are also prevalent. While it is natural that the author defaults to a city that Susendran 5 they cherish and have a strong affinity towards, it also narrows the perspective of the issue down to one place. In this case, the anchoring bias is helpful but makes New York City a focal point in an issue that spans the United States. This chapter about budget cuts in New York City’s art programs utilizes the tool of Cause and Effect situations to emphasize these issues. One example is when the author speaks about the cause and effect of New York City’s significance in the art community. Through the argument that “New York City was the art capital of the U.S. had no significance in the context of budgetary debates about the value of art to school children” (55), the author follows up with the effect that “it ultimately shaped the outcome of this radical eradication in New York. For it was New York City’s vast array of cul- tural organizations, institutions, and artists that began to fill in the breach” (55). In this example of cause and effect, it is clear that these issues are prevalent in New York City, and allows the reader to understand the true impact of how the issue affects the future possibilities of art programs in the standard curriculum of New York City. In addition, through the lens of New York City, the reader can then apply the situations to the states or areas that they live in. It allows them to create and analyze their own perspectives and views about the causes and effects of the art curriculum, or lack thereof in their education systems. Susendran 6 Works Cited Checker, Melissa, and Maggie Fishman. Local Actions : Cultural Activism, Power, and Public Life in America, Columbia University Press, 2004. ProQuest Ebook Central, https://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/sjsu/detail.action?docID=909222. Caleb 1 Outline ● The author’s use of rhetorical strategies Throughout the article, the author has appealed to our emotions by showing us discrimination within the Asian American communities. The author has constantly reminded us that many adoptees were not able to find a place they can call home in America and that they struggled to fit in with the others. ● Supporting evidence and author’s analysis/explanation of said evidence We were first introduced to multiple Korean filmmakers dedicating their lives to present their struggles and endeavors. ● Absence or presence of one of the Five Cognitive Bias Like many others, most Asian Americans decided to identify themselves as Caucasian which led to self-serving bias within many’s minds. ● Pattern of Organization This article started with the introduction of the adoption system in Korea and the United States. With nowhere to go, many children were taken in by different families around the globe for shelter and somewhere to call home. Despite being a positive act on the surface, most children were actually suffering for various reasons. Many adoptees have been looked down upon by fellow Americans and were viewed as objects of pity, assuming Caleb 2 that they have had many tragic backgrounds. Even worse, some children were treated as slaves and had many instances of domestic violence. Due to the backlash of abusive parents and discrimination, and with the number of abandoned children on the rise, adoption policies within the States have begun to change. ● Author’s tone The author’s tone is very nonassertive. The entire article was explained very calmly and unbiasedly. There were little to no personal opinions about the controversy as described in this article. ● Compare and contrast (2 paragraphs) Ever since the coronavirus invaded our society, Asian Americans have been blamed for the issue, despite not having anything to do with it. Due to the severity of the discrimination, some Asian Americans decided to take on the issue into their own hands. Caleb 3 Caleb Chan Professor Joseph Navarro ENGL1A First-Year Writing October 2nd, 2021 The Makings of A Korean American Community “Since 1953 families in the West have adopted more than 150,000 South Korean children, and, of those, Americans have adopted more than 100,000.” (“Gathering “Roots” and Making History in the Korean Adoptee Community”) Many of those adoptees have since identified themselves as Caucasian and Korean mixed, some even decided to fully identify themselves as pure Caucasian, which has led to some problems with racial discrimination within the society. Some tried to return to Korea and search for their identity or birth family, but many failed to accept that they weren’t able to relate to the traditional Korean culture. Recently, with the sudden appearance of the coronavirus, many Asian Americans are facing racist remarks and are experiencing harassment more than ever. Richard Lim and Russell Jeung have noticed the change in behavior from the other, and decided to cofound “Stop AAPI Hate”, an organization focused on tracking and discourage the act of discrimination. Volunteers have joined the action and even hosted a community rally for this movement in downtown San Jose. “While Stop AAPI Hate does not advocate for increased policing as a response to the violence against Asian Americans, some government responses to the attacks have funneled resources to law Caleb 4 enforcement, such as a new federal hate crimes law signed by President Joe Biden last month.” (“Inside the California organization tracking anti-Asian hate incidents”) Throughout the article, the author has appealed to our emotions by showing us discrimination within the Asian American communities. The author has constantly reminded us that many adoptees were not able to find a place they can call home in America and that they struggled to fit in with the others. “The historical and political differences in our displacements make any simple equation between our life experiences superficial at best.” (“Gathering “Roots” and Making History in the Korean Adoptee Community”) The cultural difference between native-born citizens and adoptees that moved to America since young have such little similarities, that the years they spent living in America is simply just an exterior shell. We were first introduced to multiple Korean filmmakers dedicating their lives to present their struggles and endeavors. “These films share common themes with other adult adoptee personal narratives in which a desire for coherence and authenticity is enacted through the writing and telling of stories.” (“Gathering “Roots” and Making History in the Korean Adoptee Community”) Eventually, the films were able to reach a larger audience through film events and Asian American organizations’ promotions. Nowadays, their work is regularly featured at conferences nationally and internationally to help forge community as well as contributing to the broader representation of adopted Koreans. Like many others, most Asian Americans decided to identify themselves as Caucasian which led to self-serving bias within many’s minds. “For these adoptees who grew up fully identifying as (white) Americans, racial discrimination provoked a particularly difficult form of Caleb 5 double consciousness.” (“Gathering “Roots” and Making History in the Korean Adoptee Community”) Many then started blaming others for manipulating them into thinking they were a part of society. Nobody is capable of understanding the pain of alienation and racial differences, not even the most empathetic parents. This article started with the introduction of the adoption system in Korea and the United States. With nowhere to go, many children were taken in by different families around the globe for shelter and somewhere to call home. Despite being a positive act on the surface, most children were actually suffering for various reasons. Many adoptees have been looked down upon by fellow Americans and were viewed as objects of pity, assuming that they have had many tragic backgrounds. Even worse, some children were treated as slaves and had many instances of domestic violence. Due to the backlash of abusive parents and discrimination, and with the number of abandoned children on the rise, adoption policies within the States have begun to change. “Experiences of adoptees who suffered doubly because of abuses by their adoptive families speak to the lack of adequate accountability on the part of adoption agencies.” (“Gathering “Roots” and Making History in the Korean Adoptee Community”) The issues were within the misinformation provided by adoption agencies and the unusual amount of immigrants in a small period of time. Resistance and marches were held for their voice to be heard, and their efforts did not go to waste. Ultimately, the Asian community was accepted into the society. The author’s tone is very nonassertive. The entire article was explained very calmly and unbiasedly. There were little to no personal opinions about the controversy as described in this article. “Thanks first to the editors for their careful attention and enduring patience through the Caleb 6 numerous drafts of this chapter… I am extremely grateful to Jackie Aronson, Tobias Hubinette, Mihee Cho, Maya Weimer, Hollee McGinnis, and Me-K. Ahn for their reviewing and giving feedback on earlier drafts of this article. Any errors or omissions are certainly my own.” (“Gathering “Roots” and Making History in the Korean Adoptee Community”) This was heavily peer-reviewed by editors and mentioned influencers, further proving that this article is unbiased. Ever since the coronavirus invaded our society, Asian Americans have been blamed for the issue, despite not having anything to do with it. “Stop AAPI Hate, a California-based coalition has recorded nearly 7,000 hate incidents involving Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders nationwide since the beginning of the coronavirus pandemic.” (“Inside the California organization tracking anti-Asian hate incidents”) Similar to when Asian Americans first relocated themselves around the globe and received prejudice from other ethnic groups. While many people have already accepted the Asian American community as a part of America, there are still some that refuse to change. Comparing to the past, there are significantly fewer cases but racism remains a major issue. Due to the severity of the discrimination, some Asian Americans decided to take on the issue into their own hands. “Russell Jeung, a professor of Asian American studies at San Francisco State University, co-founded Stop AAPI Hate in March 2020 along with colleagues at two Asian-American advocacy organizations, Chinese for Affirmative Action’s Cynthia Choi and the Asian Pacific Policy and Planning Council’s Manjusha Kulkarni.” (“Inside the California organization tracking anti-Asian hate incidents”) In the past, Asian American filmmakers have used their films to demonstrate their struggles and confront other ethnic groups and were Caleb 7 ultimately able to appeal to humanity’s emotions, halting the discriminations temporarily. Unlike the films, ‘Stop AAPI Hate’ was not able to gain recognition by major organizations and is very limited in fundings. To this day, the issue of racism remains a major issue. Efforts have been made to calm the problem down, slowly but surely. The population’s attitude has been improving over time, as we hope for a better future. Work Cited https://calmatters.org/education/higher-education/college-beat-higher-education/2021/06/trackin g-anti-asian-hate/ Outline ● People seem to underestimate the power and value of art. What causes them to underestimate that and how should we fix it? ● The importance of art and how it affects the world. ● The range of art education should be spread more widely. ● What causes people to belittle the education of art and how should we fix this? ● How do people view art and how is it different from artists’ view? ● Why are art education no longer important and why some schools don’t offer art courses anymore? How should we fix this problem? Rough Draft Art is not limited to a museum or an image on a wall; it takes on various shapes. It might be an artwork gallery, a video you just saw, or a song you recently heard you recently saw in a. The act of creating art is an entirely human experience. Art is purely a human thing, Maggie Fishman writes in her book. All kinds of art captivate you in unique ways and propel your ideas to new heights. In this article, I will discuss how art has impacted the world and why it has lost its relevance in many places. To begin, art impacts society by influencing attitudes, establishing ideals, and interpreting experiences across place and time. For instance, reading a book may have a profound effect on a persons thinking. When you read someones narrative and hear their views, you enter that persons mentality and begin to think about things in new ways. Their words penetrate your mind, conveying this message and influencing you to consider issues differently. Art captures what factually accurate historical documents cannot: the sensation of being in a specific location at a particular moment. Additionally, art is communication in this way; it enables individuals from many cultures and eras to communicate. Art is often used as a catalyst for societal change. It has the potential to empower those who are socially or politically downgraded. Maggie highlights from the book how art has aided political leaders (53). You may experience art in various ways, and the artist wishes for it to affect you. Yes, I think that it can have a significant impact on society and human behavior. While it may seem that images, music, and videos have the most effect on you, the truth is that books are the most powerful and instructive because they connect with your mind and emotions. Art is the expression or application of a persons creative abilities and imagination. It creates works that are mainly appreciated for their aesthetic or emotional capacity to move audiences. However, many locations have ignored art for a variety of reasons. One significant reason art is undervalued is that it is inaccessible. It is seen as a non-essential aspect of life, reserved for a select few, but not for everyone. Art can and should be accessible to everyone. We devalue art by not appreciating artists. Both the creator and the thing are considered to be part of art. Most areas have lost their respect for art because they believe that art is just one manner or one thing and are unaware that it is so much more. Many of these individuals are very practical and see art only as a picture on a wall taking up space but providing no helpful function. They are oblivious to the fact that art extends much beyond that range and scope.ss To summarize, art is a diverse range of activities that include the creation of aural, performative, or visual artworks that demonstrate an artists imagination or creative abilities. Art has had a broad range of effects on the world, including transmitting, expressing, and communicating intents. Nonetheless, art is no longer regarded as it was in ancient times due to various factors, including advancements in technology, its inaccessibility, and finally, its inaccessibility. Peer review Peer Review based on MLA and Primary resource After review the outline and rough draft you have provided, throughout your rough draft there are mentions of your evidence but the MLA in-text citations are not correct; since you have provided only the page number and not the authors last name or anything else. This needs to be addressed and fixed before you are to submit your final draft, I suggest looking into the resources that the professor has provided in the files portion of the canvas module. In addition many of the claims only have one resource which is the textbook, but there needs to be another outside source such as another primary resource, secondary/tertiary resource, and to which I have located none in this rough draft. I suggest getting another resource that fits the criteria of what the professor has put into the guidelines and if you are in need of help finding another resource to fit into your essay, please contact the professor for help in finding a resource for you. Overall, I can see that the rough draft does have a lot of potential into becoming a good essay with the content that was provided in the rough draft and I would recommend really checking in with the teacher if you are finding trouble in finding a another resources. Lastly, I would recommend following the reviews that the professor and the other peers give you to help in writing this essay to get a good grade on it.