Fluent Essays

For each workshop, I recommend that you review an essay that has not yet been reviewed or respond to the work of another writer that you have not reviewed in a previous workshop. Your responses to others’ posts/drafts should respond to the specific questions/requests made. You are required to use the Peer Review Worksheet, completely fill it out, and post it as an attachment in your response post. Your response post is due by 11:59 PM CT on Friday.So for this assignment, i need someone to review the draft essay that is attached and mark it up with any corrections that should be made. Then fill out the Peer Review Worksheet that is attached. Then answer the following two questions this person has asked:What was some of the themes in The Metamorphosis? Did my paper provide a clear understanding of the story? Also, I attached the story The Metamorphosis just in case you need it critical_essay_3_david_deal.docx engl210_peer_review_worksheet__1_.docx the_metamorphosis.docx Unformatted Attachment Preview Deal 1 David Deal Steven Allen ENGL 210 May 31, 2020 The Hardship of Being the Breadwinner for One’s Family “The Metamorphosis” depicts themes of family duty, guilt, and the tolls of being a breadwinner for a family through a third-person limited omniscient point of view. Loved ones shouldn’t solely rely on their family to support them at all cost. Gregor Samsa’s family had become financially dependent on his ability to be successfully at selling. When Gregor woke up as a bug, the financial burden he had carried for so long, shifted. Gregor’s transformation in the story shows the perception that he was supposed to go to work, make money for his family, and do nothing else. Gregor states “If it weren’t for my parents, I would have quit long ago, I would have gone to the boss and told him off.” (Kafka 458) Gregor knows that he is unable to quit a job that he despises and pursue a career that he would be much happier in. The story is set in the early 1900’s. It wasn’t uncommon for a family member to provide for their family especially if the members of the family were ill or injured. In the man vs. himself plot, Gregor is trying to escape the life he has lived working solely for his families sake. Gregor has been unable to make friends, date, or have any kind of social life due to his responsibilities to his family. Gregor struggles to find acceptance from his family. Once his transformation takes place into bug form, his family tries to persuade him to continue getting ready so he can catch his train and make it to work like he always had done in the past. Gregor initially believes that even in bug form, he can still get up and get ready to go to work. Deal 2 Eventually his family and office manager discover what has transpired. Gregor struggles with his transformation and his ability to maneuver around the room. Even as a bug, Gregor is still taking his families thoughts into consideration when he hides under the sofa during visits from his sister to provide food and cleanliness to his room. His sister (Grete Samsa) feels sorry for his transformation and shows her sympathy by taking care of him. Grete Samsa even goes as far to remove furniture from Gregor’s room to make it much easier for him to move about the room. Eventually, Gregor begins to despise his family when they continue to avoid him over time and scrutinize his situation. Gregor’s father takes things a step farther by throwing an apple at Gregor causing him injury. This injury would only further Gregor’s demise and continue to cause tension in his life, by constantly reminding him of the pain his father has caused in his life. Gregor’s family tries to move on financially by having three lodgers stay with them to offset the money that Gregor had been providing. During a violin session that his sister was playing for everyone, Gregor decides to show himself to the lodgers causing a stir. Gregor is afraid of his father and decides to proceed back to his room. Grete Samsa confides in her parents that they can no longer continue living in the manner that they have for the past few months. Gregor stops eating over time and eventually dies from starvation. The story is sad since Gregor worked so hard for such a long time being the main source of income for his family. The family really didn’t appreciate the gesture that Gregor was bestowing. Gregor’s loved ones were depending solely on him to provide the quality of life they had so desired. Once Gregor was unable to provide this life for them, his family began to turn on him and look for other ways to move forward without him. Gregor learned through his transformation that he shouldn’t spend his entire life living solely for his family. Deal 3 “Leaning back comfortably in their seats, they discussed their prospects for the future and it turned out that, on closer inspection, these weren’t bad at all, because all three had positions which – though they hadn’t ever really asked one another about them in any detail – were thoroughly advantageous and especially promising for the future.” (Kafka 490) Gregor’s family moved on with their lives as it nothing had happened. Deal 4 Work Cited: Kafka, Franz. “The Metamorphosis” The Story and Its Writer 10th Edition, Edited by Ann Charters, Bedford/St Martins, 2019, pp. 457-490 ENGL 210 Peer Review Worksheet Usage Guidelines: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Read the draft twice; once to create an overall impression; the second time to explore in detail. Respond to Question 1 after the First Reading. Respond to the subsequent questions after the Second. Add lines if necessary. Make appropriate remarks in the essay draft itself and attach both the marked file and this worksheet to the reply post. Make at least one summary positive comment and one suggested general improvement in the body of the reply post. The student whose essay is being discussed may ask questions (but should not get defensive); please be sure to reply. Peer Review: WRITER: EDITOR: AFTER THE FIRST READING: 1. Share you first impression. Describe the impact of the essay in general terms: its effectiveness, its persuasiveness, its scholarly presence. AFTER THE SECOND READING: 2a. What is the essay claiming about the literary work(s)? What is its Thesis (not what is the subject but what is said about the subject)? Is the thesis explicitly stated in the essay? If you cannot identify it or it seems too broad or unfocused, say so here. Suggest a revision that narrows or focuses it. 2b. Does the Thesis answer the question(s) being addressed? Does it only summarize the plot? Suggest more effective approaches. What are the expectations created by the Thesis? Are they satisfied? If not, outline the neglected areas and suggest ways of incorporating them. 3. Is the paper organized in a clear, efficient, natural manner; that is, does the order of the discussion effectively present the support for the Thesis? Is there a clear beginning, middle, and end? And does it flow well? If not, suggest a superior arrangement. 4a. Does the support convince you of the validity of the Thesis? If not, what additional material would need to be added to do so? 4b. Does the essay make effective use of the selected work(s)? Does it need more numerous specific references to the text(s)? Identify where additional references might be useful. Suggest what additional kinds of references are needed. Which points need more support? 4c. Are the references all properly cited and all citations properly identified in the list of Works Cited? Is MLA Format clearly the method employed? Comment here, and mark problematic places in the essay itself. 5. Identify any incoherent, unclear, vague, and/or inappropriate sentences, phrases, or words. Comment here, and mark problematic passages in the essay itself. The Metamorphosis 1915 / Translated by Ann Charters I As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from troubled dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a monstrous insect. He was lying on his hard, armor-plated back, and when he lifted his head a little he could see his dome-like brown belly divided into bow-shaped ridges, on top of which the precariously perched bed quilt was about to slide off completely. His numerous legs, pitiably thin compared to the rest of him, fluttered helplessly before his eyes. “What has happened to me?” he thought. It was no dream. His room — a normal, though rather small, human bedroom — lay quiet within its four familiar walls. Above the table, where a collection of cloth samples was unpacked and laid out — Samsa was a traveling salesman — hung the picture that he had recently cut from an illustrated magazine and put in a pretty gilt frame. It showed a lady wearing a small fur hat and a fur stole, sitting upright, holding out to the viewer a heavy fur muff into which her entire forearm had vanished. Then Gregor looked toward the window, and the dreary weather — he heard the rain falling on the metal ledge of the window — made him feel quite melancholy. “What if I went back to sleep again for awhile and forgot about all this nonsense?” he thought, but it was absolutely impossible, since he was used to sleeping on his right side, and he was unable to get into that position in his present state. No matter how hard he tried to heave himself over onto his right side, he always rocked onto his back again. He tried a hundred times, closing his eyes so he wouldn’t have to look at his wriggly legs, and he didn’t give up until he began to feel a faint, dull ache in his side that he had never felt before. “Oh God,” he thought, “what a hard job I picked for myself! Traveling day in and day out. Much more stressful than working in the home office; on top of that, the strain of traveling, the worry about making connections, the bad meals at all hours, meeting new people, no real human contact, no one who ever becomes a friend. The devil take it all!” He felt a slight itch on top of his belly; slowly he pushed himself on his back closer to the bedpost, so he could lift his head better; he found the itchy place, which was covered with little white spots he couldn’t identify; he tried to touch the place with one of his legs, but he immediately drew it back, for the contact sent icy shudders through his entire body. He slid back to his former position. “Getting up so early like this,” he thought, “makes you quite stupid. A man has to have his sleep. Other traveling salesmen live like women in a harem. For instance, when I return to the hotel during the morning to write up my orders, I find these gentlemen just sitting down to breakfast. I should try that with my boss; I would be fired on the spot. Anyway, who knows if that wouldn’t be a good thing for me after all. If it weren’t for my parents, I would have quit long ago, I would have gone to the boss and told him off. That would knock him off his desk! It’s a strange thing, too, the way he sits on top of his desk and talks down to his employees from this height, especially since he’s hard of hearing and we have to come so close to him. Now, I haven’t totally given up hope; as soon as I’ve saved the money to pay back what my parents owe him — that should take another five or six years — I’ll certainly do it. Then I’ll take the big step. Right now, though, I have to get up, because my train leaves at five.” He looked over at the alarm clock, which was ticking on the chest of drawers. “Heavenly Father,” he thought. It was half past six, and the hands of the clock were quietly moving forward; in fact, it was after half past, it was nearly quarter to seven. Was it possible the alarm hadn’t rung? He saw from the bed that it was correctly set at four o’clock; surely it had rung. Yes, but was it possible to sleep peacefully right through that furniture-rattling noise? Well, he hadn’t exactly slept peacefully, but probably all the more soundly. What should he do now? The next train left at seven o’clock; to catch it, he would have to rush like mad, and his samples weren’t even packed yet, and he definitely didn’t feel particularly fresh and rested. And even if he did catch the train, he wouldn’t escape a scene with his boss, since the firm’s office boy would have been waiting at the five o’clock train and would have reported back to the office long ago that he hadn’t turned up. The office boy was the boss’s own creature, without backbone or brains. Now, what if he called in sick? But that would be embarrassing, and it would look suspicious, because in the five years he’d been with the company, he’d never been sick before. His boss would be sure to show up with the doctor from the Health Insurance; he’d reproach his parents for their son’s laziness, and he’d cut short any excuses by repeating the doctor’s argument that people don’t get sick, they’re just lazy. And in this case, would he be so wrong? The fact was that except for being drowsy, which was certainly unnecessary after his long sleep, Gregor felt quite well, and he was even hungrier than usual. As he was hurriedly turning all these thoughts over in his mind, still not able to decide to get out of bed — the alarm clock was just striking a quarter to seven — he heard a cautious tap on the door, close by the head of his bed. “Gregor” — someone called — it was his mother — “it’s a quarter to seven. Didn’t you want to leave?” That gentle voice! Gregor was shocked when he heard his own voice reply; it was unmistakably his old familiar voice, but mixed with it could be heard an irrepressible undertone of painful squeaking, which left the words clear for only a moment, immediately distorting their sound so that you didn’t know if you had really heard them right. Gregor would have liked to answer fully and explain everything, but under the circumstances, he contented himself by saying, “Yes, yes, thank you, mother. I’m just getting up.” No doubt the wooden door between them must have kept her from noticing the change in Gregor’s voice, for his mother was reassured with his announcement and shuffled off. But because of this brief conversation, the other family members had become aware that Gregor unexpectedly was still at home, and soon his father began knocking on a side door softly, but with his fist. “Gregor, Gregor,” he called, “what’s the matter with you?” And after a little while, in a deeper, warning tone, “Gregor! Gregor!” At the other side door, his sister was asking plaintively, “Gregor, aren’t you feeling well? Do you need anything?” To both sides of the room, Gregor answered, “I’m getting ready,” and he forced himself to pronounce each syllable carefully and to separate his words by inserting long pauses, so his voice sounded normal. His father went back to his breakfast, but his sister whispered, “Gregor, open the door, please do.” But Gregor had no intention of opening the door, and he congratulated himself on having developed the prudent habit during his travels of always locking all doors during the night, even at home. As a start, he would get up quietly and undisturbed, get dressed, and — what was most important — eat breakfast, and then he would consider what to do next, since he realized that he would never come to a sensible conclusion about the situation if he stayed in bed. He remembered how many times before, perhaps when he was lying in bed in an unusual position, he had felt slight pains that turned out to be imaginary when he got up, and he was looking forward to finding out how this morning’s fantasy would fade away. As for the change in his voice, he didn’t doubt at all that it was nothing more than the first warning of a serious cold, a traveling salesman’s occupational hazard. It was easy to push off the quilt; all he had to do was to take a deep breath and it fell off by itself. But things got difficult with the next step, especially since he was now much broader. He could have used hands and arms to prop himself up, but all he had were his numerous little legs that never stopped moving in all directions and that he couldn’t control at all. Whenever he tried to bend one of his legs, that was the first one to straighten itself out; and when it was finally doing what he wanted it to do, then all the other legs waved uncontrollably, in very painful agitation. “There’s simply no use staying idle in bed,” said Gregor to himself. The first thing he meant to do was get the lower part of his body out of bed, but this lower part, which he still hadn’t seen, and couldn’t imagine either, proved to be too difficult to move, it shifted so slowly; and when finally, growing almost frantic, he gathered his strength and lurched forward, he miscalculated the direction, and banged himself violently into the bottom bedpost, and from the burning pain he felt, he realized that for the moment, it was the lower part of his body that was the most sensitive. Next he tried to get the upper part of his body out first, and cautiously brought his head to the edge of the bed. This he managed easily, and eventually the rest of his body, despite its width and weight, slowly followed the direction of his head. But when he finally had moved his head off the bed into open space, he became afraid of continuing any further, because if he were to fall in this position, it would be a miracle if he didn’t injure his head. And no matter what happened, he must not lose consciousness just now; he would be better off staying in bed. But when he repeated his efforts and, sighing, found himself stretched out just as before, and again he saw his little legs struggling if possible even more wildly than ever, despairing of finding a way to bring discipline and order to this random movement, he once again realized that it was impossible to stay in bed, and that the wisest course was to make every sacrifice, if there was even the slightest hope of freeing himself from the bed. But at the same time, he continued to remind himself that it was always better to think calmly and coolly than make desperate decisions. In such stressful moments he usually turned his eyes toward the window, but unfortunately the view of the morning fog didn’t inspire confidence or comfort; it was so thick that it obscured the other side of the narrow street. “Already seven o’clock,” he said as the alarm clock rang again, “already seven o’clock and still such a heavy fog.” And for a little while longer he lay quietly, breathing very gently as if expecting perhaps that the silence would restore real and normal circumstances. But then he told himself, “Before it reaches quarter past seven, I must absolutely be out of bed without fail. Besides, by then someone from the office will be sent here to ask about me, since it opens at seven.” And he began to rock the entire length of his body in a steady rhythm to swing it out of bed. If he maneuvered out of bed in this way, then his head, which he intended to lift up as he fell, would presumably escape injury. His back seemed to be hard; it wouldn’t be harmed if he fell on the carpet. His biggest worry was the loud crash he was bound to make, which would certainly cause anxiety, perhaps even alarm, behind all the doors. Still, he had to take the risk. When Gregor was already jutting halfway out of bed — his new approach was more a game than an exertion, for all he needed was to seesaw himself on his back — it occurred to him how easy his task would become if only he had help. Two strong people — he thought of his father and the maid — would have been enough; all they had to do was to slide their arms under his round back, lift him out of bed, bend down with their burden, and then wait patiently while he swung himself onto the ground, where he hoped that his little legs would find some purpose. Well, quite aside from the fact that the doors were locked, should he really have called for help? Despite his misery, he couldn’t help smiling at the very thought of it. By now he had pushed himself so far off the bed with his steady rocking that he could feel himself losing his balance, and he would finally have to decide what he was going to do, because in five minutes it would be quarter after seven — when the front doorbell rang. “That’s somebody from the office,” he said to himself, and his body became rigid, while his little legs danced in the air even faster. For a moment everything was quiet. “They won’t open the door,” Gregor told himself, with a surge of irrational hope. But then, as usual, the maid walked to the door with her firm step and opened it. Gregor needed only to hear the first words of greeting from the visitor to know who it was — the office manager himself. Why on earth was Gregor condemned to work for a company where the slightest sign ... Purchase answer to see full attachment