Fluent Essays

This assignment is a revision/correction on an already completed essay.Below are the reference links, and attached the copy of the original essay, and a PDF report from teachers comments regarding the corrections.https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/10/why-i-hope-to-die-at-75/379329/https://www.popsci.com/ethics-living-longer/https://www.popsci.com/forever-man-immortality-science/https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2948190/ paper_1.doc paper_1___revision.pdf paper_1___copy.doc paper_1___report_1.pdf Unformatted Attachment Preview Jones 1 Meenu Jones Brandon White ENGL 1302 12/22/2019 Human Enhancement The quest to live longer has been the dream of almost every human being, however; while this may sound like a good idea it may have its share of pros and cons as well. According to Ezekiel on Why I Hope to die at 75 if some or all people had the option to live to 150-160 years old in relative comfort they should not. Ezekiel argues that living longer can have more disadvantages than advantages. For example; Ezekiel says that living as long as 150-160 years renders humans not only disability but also; a declined state that can be far worse than death. The longer one lives the longer they are likely to become major liabilities because living longer robs the others ability to contribute to work, society, the world as well as robbing their creativity. Older people are vulnerable to more than a few mental problems such as schizophrenia, dementia, being bipolar among other health-related issues that may negatively affect one’s cognitive functions such as mobility and critical thinking. If some or all people had the option to live to 150-160 years old in relative comfort they would rather not because they would more of a liability than being productive. For example; living as long as 150-160 may change the way people perceive each other, how they treat, as well as how they remember others. In such situations; people would no longer deem others being productive and vibrant but being a liability, pathetic, as well as ineffectual because people would Jones 2 become a liability rather than assets. Based on this; it is crystal clear that people should not live as long as 150 or 160 years because they would become ineffectual, liabilities and vulnerable to mental health-related issues among other cognitive functions that makes others productive and vibrant (Brooke, p. 5). Living as long as 150-160 years would have major effects on marriages in many forms. The longer someone live or stay with someone, the more they are likely to become bored with them or divorce them. Living longer than the expected life span of 75 years would negatively impact marriages because it will get bored in many ways. For example; when women reach the age of 150 and above years; they are no longer interested in sex and therefore this may affect their love life leading to divorce or extramarital (Brooke, p. 7). Naturally; men can stay sexually active as long as 90 years and therefore; if the woman does not meet their conjugal rights this may prompt the man to marry another woman or engage in extramarital deeds which may lead to sex-related diseases leading to ailments or even worse death and therefore; this justifies why living longer may affect marriages in many negative ways. The number of increased homicide cases has been caused by jealous spouses and money. The longer people live, the more likely there is to occur death caused by human beings. Naturally; women are born jealous and because it is the nature of men to have more than a few different lovers, the woman of a married man would likely get mad leading her to commit murder. Women jealously protect their marriages at all costs and the idea of sharing her man with another woman can be hard to bear which can lead her to kill the other woman. Based on these facts, it is apparent if people lived as longer as 150 or 160 there would be increased cases of homicides from jealous women as well as unhappier life (Brooke, p. 5). Jones 3 Living longer can be a disadvantage. If people were to live as long as 160 years, there would be increased cases of disabilities rather than decreased abilities. According to research; it has been established that there is a strong correlation between longevity and disability. For example; a recent research that was performed from National Health Interview Survey, Eileen Crimmins, a researcher at the University of Southern California, it was established that there are increased chances of dysfunctional adults who live longer and this may lead to more use of finances to support such individuals in buying mobility equipment for them which is why people should not dream of living past 120 years or as long as 160 years. Ideally; this means that as people age, there is a progressive erosion of physical functioning. Almost all aspect of society will be extremely affected by extended life span, including financial markets, education, workplace as well as healthcare among others. For example; longer living means increased wealth among other benefits. A good example can be derived from the current retirement age which is estimated to be 65 and a norm life expectancy of 75. The handling for sustained monetary returns will be put under tremendous stress, if the mankind begins living past 100 and this means that compounding interest will strikingly increase available capital by stretching the time that money is invested. For instance; if someone at his or her mid twenty’s invests a certain amount to his or her retirement fund, at a set annually compounding interest rate. At the age of 65, when he or she retire, the investment would most probably be more than, normally between 6 times and 9 times depending on the interest rate, of the money he or she originally invested. That is a pretty good return, however; on the same note, if he or she reaches 125 before he or she withdraw the money, it will be worth nearly between 23 times and 26 times as much which shows how it would be such a good idea to live past 100 years (Wilcove, “What happens if we live to be 150?”). Jones 4 The medical, as well as healthcare industries are good examples of how the workplace will be impacted would undergo a dramatic shift. For example; it is evident that technologies such as individualized gene-based therapies and regenerative medicine sometimes referred to as bioprinting human tissue, will create a step responsibility in human life expectancy. As people live longer as well as work for several employers, the sort of health insurance may change to corporate-contributed but individually purchased and priced and this would increase people’s stress due to such things (Zaleski, p. 7). To sum it up; it is apparent that living longer or over 100 years can have its share of cons and pros. For instance; lifespan extension would most probably mean increased per capita and higher returns of revenues as well as may influence politics and social change, with different age groups pushing for different policies. Besides; prolonged life may mean becoming a major liability increased living years like 150 to 160 years robs others ability to contribute in work, society, the world as well as robbing their creativity (Zaleski, p. 8). Older people are vulnerable to more than a few mental problems such as schizophrenia, dementia, being bipolar among other health-related issues that may negatively affect one’s cognitive functions such as mobility and critical thinking. On the other hand; longevity in living means increased wealth and wisdom. For example; almost all aspect of society will be extremely affected by extended life span including financial markets, education, workplace as well as healthcare among others. A good example is a situation whereby; longer living means increased wealth among other benefits. A good example can be derived from the current retirement age which is estimated to be 65 and a median life expectancy of 75. The steering for sustained financial yield will be put under enormous stress, if the humans begins living past 100 and this means that compounding interest will adequately increase obtainable capital by lengthening the time that money is invested among other benefits Jones 5 associated with the increased number of years one lives (Wilcove, “What happens if we live to be 150?”). While living as long as 150 or 160 years may sound like a good idea, it may have its share of disadvantages and advantages as well such as increased investment returns and decreased mobility among older people. Jones 6 Works Cited Brad Partridge, Jayne Lucke, and Wayne Hall. Listening to public concerns about human life extension. 2010. Internet Source. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2948190/ Brooke, B. The Tricky Ethics Of Living Longer. March 24, 2016. Internet source. https://www.popsci.com/ethics-living-longer/ Ezekiel J. Emanuel. Why I Hope to Die at 75. An argument that society and families—and you— will be better off if nature takes its course swiftly and promptly. 2014 Internet source. https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/10/why-i-hope-to-die-at-75/379329/ Wilcove, Brian. “What Happens If We Live to Be 150?”TechCrunch, 4 Oct. 2016, https://techcrunch.com/2016/10/03/what-happens-if-we-live-to-be-150/ Zaleski, A. Is there any truth to anti-aging schemes?. Bill Faloon has pursued immortality for decades. Now hes got lots of company. What does science have to say? June 12, 2018. Internet Source. https://www.popsci.com/forever-man-immortality-science/ Jones 1 Commented [BW1]: You can revise the essay for a better grade. (Up to 17\%) Revisions are due by January 6th. Meenu Jones Commented [BW2]: From the writing prompt: (Three sources minimum/two quotes per source) You were paraphrasing, not quoting. Brandon White Commented [BW3]: You are not using semicolons correctly. Semicolon: https://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/semicolons.a sp ENGL 1302 12/22/2019 Human Enhancement The quest to live longer has been the dream of almost every human being, however; while this may sound like a good idea it may have its share of pros and cons as well. According to Ezekiel on Why I Hope to die at 75 if some or all people had the option to live to 150-160 years old in relative comfort they should not. Ezekiel argues that living longer can have more disadvantages than advantages. For example; Ezekiel says that living as long as 150-160 years renders humans not only disability but also; a declined state that can be far worse than death. The longer one lives the longer they are likely to become major liabilities because living longer robs Commented [BW4]: This is not correct. You are misleading the reader. Ezekiel never mentions living to 150 years old. He discusses the quality of life within the current lifespan. If a reader were to read the article after reading your essay, your credibility would be in question. (Ethos) the others ability to contribute to work, society, the world as well as robbing their creativity. Older people are vulnerable to more than a few mental problems such as schizophrenia, dementia, being bipolar among other health-related issues that may negatively affect one’s cognitive functions such as mobility and critical thinking. If some or all people had the option to live to 150-160 years old in relative comfort they would rather not because they would more of a liability than being productive. For example; living as long as 150-160 may change the way people perceive each other, how they treat, as well as how they remember others. In such situations; people would no longer deem others being productive and vibrant but being a liability, pathetic, as well as ineffectual because people would Commented [BW5]: Please address the writing prompt: Focus on reversing the aging process. Speculate. In the near future—20-30 years—what would happen if humans could live up to 150 years in relative comfort? This possible situation means that someone who is 90 years old might resemble and function like someone who is 45 years old. If some or all people had the option to live to 150-160 years old in relative comfort, should they? Some questions to think about in regards to option 1: How would marriage change? Would family dynamics change? What would happen to ‘the workplace?’ Would people live their lives differently because ‘the pressures’ of time have changed? Commented [BW6]: Why? Explain your reasoning. Commented [BW7]: If they were in relatively good health, why would they be considered a liability? Jones 2 become a liability rather than assets. Based on this; it is crystal clear that people should not live as long as 150 or 160 years because they would become ineffectual, liabilities and vulnerable to mental health-related issues among other cognitive functions that makes others productive and vibrant (Brooke, p. 5). Commented [BW8]: Before you paraphrase-- When introducing sources, let the reader know who is saying this. Also let the reader know the article title Living as long as 150-160 years would have major effects on marriages in many forms. The longer someone live or stay with someone, the more they are likely to become bored with them or divorce them. Living longer than the expected life span of 75 years would negatively impact marriages because it will get bored in many ways. For example; when women reach the Commented [BW9]: Incorporate this source: https://www.pewforum.org/2013/08/06/to-count-ourdays-the-scientific-and-ethical-dimensions-of-radical-lifeextension/ Focus on this section: Many Questions, Many Answers age of 150 and above years; they are no longer interested in sex and therefore this may affect their love life leading to divorce or extramarital (Brooke, p. 7). Naturally; men can stay sexually active as long as 90 years and therefore; if the woman does not meet their conjugal rights this may prompt the man to marry another woman or engage in extramarital deeds which may lead to sex-related diseases leading to ailments or even worse death and therefore; this justifies why living longer may affect marriages in many negative ways. The number of increased homicide cases has been caused by jealous spouses and money. Commented [BW10]: Based on what evidence? If you cannot support this claim with a source, delete it. The longer people live, the more likely there is to occur death caused by human beings. Naturally; women are born jealous and because it is the nature of men to have more than a few different lovers, the woman of a married man would likely get mad leading her to commit murder. Women jealously protect their marriages at all costs and the idea of sharing her man with another woman can be hard to bear which can lead her to kill the other woman. Based on these facts, it is apparent if people lived as longer as 150 or 160 there would be increased cases of homicides from jealous women as well as unhappier life (Brooke, p. 5). Commented [BW11]: This paragraph reads as a slipperly slope fallacy. Again, if you cannot support it with evidence, delete it. Jones 3 Living longer can be a disadvantage. If people were to live as long as 160 years, there would be increased cases of disabilities rather than decreased abilities. According to research; it has been established that there is a strong correlation between longevity and disability. For example; a recent research that was performed from National Health Interview Survey, Eileen Crimmins, a researcher at the University of Southern California, it was established that there are increased chances of dysfunctional adults who live longer and this may lead to more use of finances to support such individuals in buying mobility equipment for them which is why people should not dream of living past 120 years or as long as 160 years. Ideally; this means that as people age, there is a progressive erosion of physical functioning. Commented [BW12]: Same issue—address the writing prompt: Focus on reversing the aging process. Speculate. In the near future—20-30 years—what would happen if humans could live up to 150 years in relative comfort? This possible situation means that someone who is 90 years old might resemble and function like someone who is 45 years old. If some or all people had the option to live to 150-160 years old in relative comfort, should they? Some questions to think about in regards to option 1: How would marriage change? Would family dynamics change? What would happen to ‘the workplace?’ Would people live their lives differently because ‘the pressures’ of time have changed? One thing you could question is how diseases would adapt. Almost all aspect of society will be extremely affected by extended life span, including financial markets, education, workplace as well as healthcare among others. For example; longer living means increased wealth among other benefits. A good example can be derived from the current retirement age which is estimated to be 65 and a normal life expectancy of 75. The handling for sustained monetary returns will be put under tremendous stress, if the mankind Commented [BW13]: These are all significant ideas. Which one is being argued in this paragraph? Remember, one idea per supporting paragraph. Commented [BW14]: This paragraph is too short. Incorporate this source: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/10/w hat-happens-when-we-all-live-to-100/379338/ Use this section: Aging and politics begins living past 100 and this means that compounding interest will strikingly increase available capital by stretching the time that money is invested. For instance; , if someone at his or her mid twenty’s thenties invests a certain amount to his or her retirement fund, at a set annually compounding interest rate. At the age of 65, when he or she retired, the investment would most probably be more than, normally between 6 times and 9 times depending on the interest rate, of the money he or she originally invested. That is a pretty good return, however; on the same note, if he or she reaches 125 before he or she withdraws the money, it will be worth nearly between 23 times and 26 times as much which shows how it would be such a good idea to live past 100 years (Wilcove, “What happens if we live to be 150?”). Jones 4 The medical, as well as healthcare industries are good examples of how the workplace will be impacted would undergo a dramatic shift. For example; it is evident that technologies such as individualized gene-based therapies and regenerative medicine sometimes referred to as bioprinting human tissue, will create a step responsibility in human life expectancy. As people Commented [BW15]: Specific examples? live longer as well as work for several employers, the sort of health insurance may change to corporate-contributed but individually purchased and priced and this would increase people’s stress due to such things (Zaleski, p. 7). Commented [BW16]: Provicea hypothetical case to support your reasoning. To sum it up; , it is apparent that living longer or over 100 years can have its share of cons and pros. For instance; , lifespan extension would most probably mean increased per capita and higher returns of revenues as well as may influence politics and social change, with different age groups pushing for different policies. Besides; , prolonged life may mean becoming a major liability increased living years like 150 to 160 years robs others ability to contribute in work, society, the world as well as robbing their creativity (Zaleski, p. 8). Older people are vulnerable to more than a few mental problems such as schizophrenia, dementia, being bipolar among other health-related issues that may negatively affect one’s cognitive functions such as mobility and critical thinking. On the other hand; longevity in living means increased wealth and wisdom. For example; almost all aspect of society will be extremely affected by extended life span including financial markets, education, workplace as well as healthcare among others. A good example is a situation whereby; longer living means increased wealth among other benefits. A good example can be derived from the current retirement age which is estimated to be 65 and a median life expectancy of 75. The steering for sustained financial yield will be put under enormous stress, if the humans begins living past 100 and this means that compounding interest will adequately inc ... Purchase answer to see full attachment