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ANSWER EACH QUESTION SEPARATELY. INCLUDE EACH QUESTION REFERENCE UNDER EACH ANSWERED QUESTION. USE REAL-LIFE EXPERIENCE. 1. What do you see as the main difference between a successful and an unsuccessful decision? How much does luck versus skill have to do with it? How much time needs to pass to know if a decision is successful or not? file:///C:/Users/Busayo%20Oyewole/Downloads/Understanding%20Decision%20Making%20(1).pdf file:///C:/Users/Busayo%20Oyewole/Downloads/Problem%20Solving%20and%20Decision%20Making%20Are%20Related%20but%20Definitely%20Different%20(1).pdf file:///C:/Users/Busayo%20Oyewole/Downloads/Faulty%20Decision%20Making%20(1).pdf 2. Communication is a process that is an ongoing, dynamic, and unending occurrence. It also is complex and continually changing. If it were not dynamic, compromise and resolution would not be possible. Communication also is irretrievable, irreversible, and unrepeatable; as such, each communication "episode" is unique. Describe a communication interaction – perhaps one you have had -- that exemplifies how people can end up in a very different place once a discussion gets underway. file:///C:/Users/Busayo%20Oyewole/Downloads/Why%20is%20it%20important%20to%20communicate%20well.pdf file:///C:/Users/Busayo%20Oyewole/Downloads/What%20is%20communication.pdf file:///C:/Users/Busayo%20Oyewole/Downloads/The%20communication%20process.pdf DO MORE RESEARCH 3. Recall an instance in which someone gave you feedback that didn’t meet the guidelines that are listed in this section. In what ways did the person’s feedback fall short of the guidelines, and what could the person have done to improve the feedback? file:///C:/Users/Busayo%20Oyewole/Downloads/Listenable%20messages%20and%20effective%20feedback.pdf Communicate Effectively The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said. --Peter F. Drucker Electric communication will never be a substitute for the face of someone who with their soul encourages another person to be brave and true. --Charles Dickens Improving Communication When you walked into work this morning, you said your normal "good mornings" and everyone cheerfully said good morning back to you but one coworker. This is a coworker you have had problems with for quite some time. The problems seem to stem from your two different styles of communication. You like to be quick and to the point, so you find yourself e-mailing a lot. Your coworker, Nanci, prefers to have every conversation in person. You feel that while talking in person is nice, it can also be difficult since everyone has such a hectic schedule. Your workstyle is focused on saving time and using time as wisely as possible. For example, Nanci asked you to give her a client's e-mail address. You copied and pasted it from an earlier e-mail and e-mailed it to Nanci. Nanci got very upset at this and commented about your need to always e-mail things instead of talking in person. You told her it was easier to do it that way, plus it prevented the chance that you would write the address down wrong. Nanci did not accept this response. In another example, Nanci stopped by your office to ask about your willingness to help set up for the company holiday party. Nanci starting talking with you about the decorations and you interrupted and told her you would be happy to do so and asked her what time you should be there. Nanci again got upset and told you she had no idea. Her body language showed frustration and you couldn't understand why, as you were only asking a reasonable question about timing. Finally, you decide to talk with your supervisor about these issues. The supervisor gives you some information that was hard to take but also very valuable in the development of a good communication style. "Andree," she said, "while people in the office really like you, they don't find you very warm. People say that your facial expressions and the fact you don't smile very often makes you difficult to approach. To make matters worse, your one- and two-line e-mail responses are sometimes off-putting." In your defense, you say that you are very busy and often don't have time to answer an e-mail with another line. You also say that you are there to work, not to make friends. "Yes, this is true," says your supervisor, "but it is important to establish good relationships, which is something you have not seemed to make an effort to do. Good relationships happen with good communication." As you leave, you understand that you will need to improve on this area. The first thing you do is stop by Nanci's office to hear about the decorations she wanted to tell you about for the company party. You feel this is a good start to creating better communication between her and your other coworkers. 4.1 Verbal and Written Communication Strategies Learning Objectives 1. Explain the concept of emotional intelligence. 2. Describe the four types of communication in the workplace. 3. Explain the various communication styles and identify your own style. Communication, as you see in our opening scenario, is key to any successful career. While communication is likely discussed in several of your other classes, it should also be addressed in a human relations book, since much of what we do at work is based on effective communication. How many times do miscommunications happen on a daily basis, either in your personal life or at your job? The good news is that we can all get better at communication. The first thing we need to do is learn how we can better communicate with others. Then we will want to look at our own communication style and compare that with other styles. Have you ever spoken with someone you just didn’t “get”? It is probably because you have different communication styles. Body language is also a key contributor to communication; in fact, as was suggested in the late 1960s by researcher Albert Mehrabian, body language makes up 93 percent of our communication (Mehrabian and Ferris, 1967). One of the most important aspects to good communication is emotional intelligence (EI). Emotional intelligence is the ability to know and manage our emotions, motivate ourselves, understand others’ emotions, and manage relationships. Without EI, it would be impossible to effectively communicate with people. Communication Directions In addition to the communication that occurs within organizations, each of us has our own individual communication style. Many organizations give tests that may indicate their candidate’s preferred style, providing information on the best job fit. As you already know, communication in companies is key to having a successful organization. Of course, learning how to communicate better, as a result, is the cornerstone of a successful career. Likewise, understanding how companies communicate with employees can result in employees who are more loyal and motivated. Those that don’t communicate well, though, see increased turnover, absenteeism, dissatisfied customers, higher product defect rates, lack of focus on business objectives, and lack of innovation (Business Performance, n.d.). Four main types of communications occur within a company: upward communication, downward communication, diagonal communication, and horizontal communication. Each type of communication can serve a different purpose in human resources, and many messages may be sent in a variety of ways. Upward communication is when the lower levels of an organization communicate with the upper levels of an organization. Some examples might be an employee satisfaction survey using online survey tools such as SurveyMonkey. These kinds of tools can be used to determine the changes that should occur in a company. Oftentimes human resource departments may develop a survey such as this to find out how satisfied the employees are with things such as benefits. Then the organization can make changes based on the satisfaction level of the employees. Employees might also engage in upward communication in a given work situation. They might tell their manager their plate is full and they can’t take on any new projects. This is considered upward communication, too. Downward communication is the opposite of upward communication, in that the communication occurs from the upper levels of an organization down to the lower levels of the organization. A manager explaining how to do a task to an employee would be considered downward communication. Development of training programs to communicate safety in the organization might be another example. A change in a pay or bonus structure would be communicated using the downward approach as well. Figure 4.1 Types of Communication Flow in Organizations A diagonal communication approach occurs when interdepartmental communication occurs with people at different levels of the organization. When the human resources assistant speaks with the marketing manager about the hiring of a new employee in marketing, this would be considered diagonal communication. Horizontal communication occurs when people of the same level in an organization—for example, a marketing manager and a human resource manager, communicate usually to coordinate work between departments. An accounting manager might share information with a production manager so the production manager knows how much budget they have left. Within all the communication methods we discussed, there are a variety of approaches. Of course, the most obvious is the informal communication that occurs. An e-mail may be sent or a phone call made. Meetings are another way to communicate information. Companies can also use more formal means to communicate. A blog would be an example. Many companies use blogs to communicate information such as financial numbers, changes to policy, and other “state of the business” information. This type of information is often downward communication. However, blogs are not just for upper management anymore. Companies are using microblogs more and more to ensure that people in various departments stay connected with each other, especially when tasks tend to be very interdependent. Companies also use social networking sites to keep in touch, such as Twitter and Facebook. For example, Alcatel-Lucent, a 77,000-employee telecommunications company in Europe, found that using social media keeps a large number of employees connected and tends to be a low or no-cost method of communicating. Rather than sending e-mail to their employees telling them to expect updates via these methods, the news is spread via word of mouth as most of the employees blog or use Facebook or other social media to communicate. In fact, Alcatel-Lucent has over eight hundred groups in its system, ranging from business related to ones social in nature (Gaudin, n.d.). Use of this type of technology can result in upward, downward, horizontal, and diagonal communication all at once. Companies also use intranets to communicate information to their employees. An intranet is an internal website, meaning that others generally cannot log in and see information there. The intranet may include information on pay and vacation time as well as recent happenings, awards, and achievements. No matter how the company chooses to communicate with you, understanding these variety of methods can help make you a better employee. Now that we have discussed communication from the company perspective, we should discuss communication from the personal perspective. Communication Styles In addition to the communication that occurs within organizations, each of us has our own individual communication style. Many organizations give tests that may indicate their candidate’s preferred style, providing information on the best job fit. Our communication styles can determine how well we communicate with others, how well we are understood, and even how well we get along with others. As you can imagine, our personality types and our communication styles are very similar. Keep in mind, though, that no one person is “always” one style. We can change our style depending on the situation. The more we can understand our own dominant communication style and pinpoint the styles of others, the better we can communicate. The styles are expresser, driver, relater, and analytical. Let’s discuss each of these styles next. People with an expresser communication style tend to get excited. They like challenges and rely heavily on hunches and feelings. Depending on the type of business, this can be a downfall as sometimes hard data should be used for decision-making purposes. These people are easily recognized because they don’t like too many facts or boring explanations and tend to be antsy if they feel their time is being wasted. People with a driver style like to have their own way and tend to be decisive. They have strong viewpoints, which they are not afraid to share with others. They like to take charge in their jobs but also in the way they communicate. Drivers usually get right to the point and not waste time with small talk. People with a relater style like positive attention and want to be regarded warmly. They want others to care about them and treat them well. Because relaters value friendships, a good way to communicate well with them is to create a communication environment where they can feel close to others. People with an analytical communication style will ask a lot of questions and behave methodically. They don’t like to be pressured to make a decision and prefer to be structured. They are easily recognized by the high number of questions they ask. Table 4.1 Which One of These Communication Styles Do You Tend to Use? Factors Expresser Driver Relater Analytical How to recognize They get excited. They like their own way; decisive and strong viewpoints. They like positive attention, to be helpful, and to be regarded warmly. They seek a lot of data, ask many questions, behave methodically and systematically. Tends to ask Who? (the personal dominant question) What? (the results-oriented question) Why? (the personal nongoal question) How? (the technical analytical question) Dislikes Boring explanations/wasting time with too many facts. Someone wasting their time trying to decide for them. Rejection, being treated impersonally, uncaring and unfeeling attitudes. Making an error, being unprepared, spontaneity. Reacts to pressure and tension by “Selling” their ideas or becoming argumentative. Taking charge, taking more control. Becoming silent, withdrawn, introspective. Seeking more data and information. Best way to deal with Get excited with them, show emotion. Let them be in charge. Be supportive; show you care. Provide lots of data and information. Likes to be measured by Applause, feedback, recognition. Results, meeting goals. Friends, close relationships. Activity and business that lead to results. Must be allowed to Get ahead quickly. Likes challenges. Get into a competitive situation. Likes to win. Relax, feel, care, know you care. Make decisions at own pace, not feel cornered or pressured. Will improve with Recognition and some structure with which to reach the goal. A position that requires cooperation with others. A structure of goals and methods for achieving each goal. Further development of interpersonal and communication skills. Likes to save Effort. They rely heavily on hunches, intuition, feelings. Time. They like to be efficient, get things done now. Relationships. Friendship means a lot to them. Face. They hate to make an error, be wrong, or get caught without enough info. For best results: Inspire them to bigger and better accomplishments. Allow them freedom to do things their own way. Care and provide detail, specific plans, and activities to be accomplished. Structure a framework or "track" to follow. Let’s discuss an example of how these communication styles might interact. Let’s assume an analytical communicator and a relater are beginning a meeting where the purpose is to develop a project timeline. The analytical communicator will be focused on the timeline and not necessarily the rapport building that the relater would be focused on. The conversation might go something like this: Relater: What are you doing this weekend? I am going to my son’s baseball game. It is supposed to be hot—I am looking forward to it. Analytical: That’s great. OK, so I was thinking a start date of August 1st for this project. I can get Kristin started on a to-do list for the project. Relater: That would be great. Kristin is a really hard worker, and I’m sure she won’t miss any details. Analytical: Yes, she’s OK. So your team will need to start development now with a start day coming up. How are you going to go about this? How do these two personality styles walk away from this conversation? First, the relater may feel ignored or rejected, because the analytical communicator didn’t want to discuss weekend details. The analytical communicator may feel annoyed that the relater is wasting time talking about personal things when they have a goal to set a project timeline. These types of small miscommunications in business are what can create low morale, absenteeism, and other workplace issues. Understanding which style we tend to use can be the key in determining how we communicate with others. Here is another, personal example of these communication styles and how a conversation might go: Expresser, to his partner: I am really excited for our hiking trip this weekend. Driver: I still think we should leave on Thursday night rather than Friday. Expresser: I told you, I don’t think I can get all day Friday off. Besides, we won’t have much time to explore anyway if we get there on Thursday; it will already be dark. Driver: It won’t be dark; we will get there around seven, before anyone else, if we leave after work. Expresser: I planned the trip. I am the one who went and got our food and permits. I don’t see why you have to change it. Driver: You didn’t plan the trip; I am the one who applied for the permits. In this situation, you can see that the expresser is just excited about the trip and brings up the conversation as such. The driver has a tendency to be competitive and wants to win, hence his willingness to get there Thursday before everyone else. The expresser, on the other hand, tried to sell his ideas and didn’t get the feedback he felt he deserved for planning the trip, which made the communication start to go south. In addition to our communication personalities, people tend to communicate based on one of three styles. First, a passive communicator tends to put the rights of others before his or her own. Passive communicators tend to be apologetic or sound tentative when they speak. They do not speak up if they feel like they are being wronged. An aggressive communicator, on the other hand, will come across as standing up for his or her rights while possibly violating the rights of others. This person tends to communicate in a way that tells others they don’t matter or their feelings don’t matter. An assertive communicator respects his rights and the rights of others when communicating. This person tends to be direct but not insulting or offensive. The assertive communicator stands up for his or her own rights but makes sure the rights of others aren’t affected. Table 4.2 Which One of These Communication Styles Do You Tend to Use? Passive Assertive Aggressive Definition Communication style in which you put the rights of others before your own, minimizing your own self-worth Communication style in which you stand up for your rights while maintaining respect for the rights of others Communication style in which you stand up for your rights but you violate the rights of others Implications to others My feelings are not important We are both important Your feelings are not important I don't matter We both matter You don't matter I think I'm inferior I think we are equal I think I'm superior Verbal styles Apologetic I statements You statements Overly soft or tentative voice Firm voice Loud voice Nonverbal styles Looking down or away Looking direct Staring, narrow eyes Stooped posture, excessive head nodding Relaxed posture, smooth and relaxed movements Tense, clenched fists, rigid posture, pointing fingers Potential consequences Lowered self-esteem Higher self-esteem Guilt Anger at self Self-respect Anger from others False feelings of inferiority Respect from others Lowered self-esteem Disrespect from others Respect of others Disrespect from others Pitied by others Feared by others Have you heard of a passive-aggressive communicator? This person tends to be passive but later aggressive by perhaps making negative comments about others or making snide or underhanded comments. This person might express his or her negative feelings in an indirect way instead of being direct. For example, you are trying to complete a project for a client and the deadline is three days away. You and your team are working frantically to finish. You ask one of your employees to come in to work on Saturday morning to finish up the loose ends so the project will be ready to present to the client on Monday. Your employee agrees, but when you show up on Monday, the project isn’t ready to present. You find out that this person had plans on Saturday but wasn’t direct with you about this. So the project didn’t get completed, and you had to change the appointment with the client. Later, you also find out that this employee was complaining to everyone else that you had asked her to come in on Saturday. As you can see from this example, passive-aggressive behavior doesn’t benefit anyone. The employee should have been direct and simply said, “I can’t come in on Saturday, but I can come in Sunday or work late Friday night.” Ideally, we want to be assertive communicators, as this shows our own self-esteem but at the same time respects others and isn’t misleading to others, either. When dealing with someone who exhibits passive-aggressive behavior, it is best to just be direct with them. Tell that person you would rather she be direct than not show up. Oftentimes passive-aggressive people try to play the martyr or the victim. Do not allow such people to press your buttons and get you to feel sorry for them. This gives them control and can allow them to take advantage. Listening Listening is obviously an important part of communication. There are three main types of listening. Competitive or combative listening happens when we are focused on sharing our own point of view instead of listening to someone else. In passive listening, we are interesting in hearing the other person and assume we hear and understand what the person says correctly without verifying. In active listening, we are interested in what the other person has to say and we are active in checking our understanding with the speaker. For example, we may restate what the person has said and then verify our understanding is correct. The feedback process is the main difference between passive listening and active listening. Figure 4.2 Active listening involves four phases. Source: Steil, L., Barker, L., & Watson, K. (n.d.). SIER hierarchy of active listening. Provenmodels, accessed August 1, 2011, http://www.provenmodels.com/554 . Written Communication Besides verbal communication, much of our communication at work may happen in the written form, such as e-mail. When using e-mail as a communication tool, we should consider the four Cs: · Complete. We want to make sure that all facts are included in the e-mail. When responding to an e-mail, also make sure all questions have been answered. · Concise. Try to make e-mails as concise as possible. If your e-mail becomes long, it may be better to have a personal conversation rather than an e-mail to make sure the message gets across in the appropriate way. · Correct. Be sure to check e-mail, grammar, and spelling. E-mails should always have a greeting, body, and closing. · Clear. Is your writing easy to understand? Does it flow well? When considering the four Cs, we also want to consider the following e-mail tips: · Make sure the subject line is descriptive. · Use upper and lower case letters. Using all uppercase would be like shouting your message. · Do not use the “reply all” function if it isn't necessary. · Make sure to sign your e-mail. · Before sending, always reread your message to make sure you are conveying your message clearly. · Do not send e-mails when you are angry or upset. Use a twenty-four-hour rule before replying to an e-mail that gave you this type of emotional response. · Try to avoid “text message” writing in e-mails—for example, shortening of words such as LMK (let me know). · Do not forward jokes. · Limit your use of emoticons. E-mail Do’s and Don’t When sending e-mails we want to consider the four Cs: complete, concise, correct, and clear. Following these e-mail tips will ensure your communication is clear and concise. It saves time in the long run to spend time writing a good e-mail rather than trying to e-mail back and forth with someone who did not understand your message the first time. One of the challenges of written communication is the inability to see the receiver’s reaction to your e-mail. In other words, e-mail does not allow us to see the nonverbal responses from our receivers. The nonverbal aspects of communication will be the next topic in this chapter. Key Takeaways · Emotional intelligence can be improved over time, unlike IQ, which stays stable throughout life. · Emotional intelligence includes knowing and managing your emotions, motivating yourself, recognizing and understanding other people’s emotions, and managing relationships. · There are four types of communication at work: downward, upward, horizontal, and diagonal. All types of communication can happen at once, especially with the use of blogs and social networking sites. · Companies that use good communication tend to have less turnover and less absenteeism. · There are four main types of communication styles: expresser, driver, relater, and analytical. The better we can understand our own style of communication and the communication styles of others, the easier it will be to communicate with them. · Passive, aggressive, and passive-aggressive behaviors are not healthy ways of communicating. Assertive behavior, on the other hand, respects one’s own rights and the rights of others. · Nonverbal communication is one of the most important tools we can use to communicate how we feel. Watching others’ body language can give us signals as to how they may really feel. · Listening is also an important part of communication. Active listening occurs when we are interested in what the other person has to say, and we check with the speaker to make sure we understand what they have said. Competitive or combative listening is when we are focused on sharing our own point of view. Passive listening is when we listen to someone but do not verify that we understand what someone is saying. · When sending e-mails, follow the four Cs: complete, concise, correct and clear. 4.2 Principles of Nonverbal Communication Learning Objectives 1. Explain how your nonverbal communication can impact communication with others. 2. Explain how the principles of nonverbal communication should be considered when you communicate with others. How do you know when your boss or instructors are pleased with your progress (or not)? You might know from the smiles on their faces; from the time and attention they give you; or perhaps in other nonverbal ways, like a raise, a bonus, or a good grade. Whether the interaction takes place face-to-face or at a distance you can still experience and interpret nonverbal responses. Sometimes we place more emphasis on nonverbal aspects of communication that they warrant. Suppose you have just gotten home from your first date with Amanda and you feel it went very well. How soon should afterward should you call Amanda? There are lots of advice columns, informal rules and customs, and friends with opinions to offer you suggestions, but you know what is right for you. You also know that texting her at five o’clock the next morning might be a bit early. You may choose to wait until a coffee break around 10 a.m. to send a short text message and realize that you might not get a response until later that afternoon. Does the lack of an immediate response have any meaning? Does it mean Amanda is less interested in you than you are in her? While you might give it more attention than it deserves, and maybe let it weigh on your mind and distract you from other tasks, the time interval for responding may not have as much intentional meaning as you think. It might mean that Amanda has a different sense of time urgency than you do or that she simply didn’t receive your message until later. Timing is an important aspect of nonverbal communication, but trying to understand what a single example of timing means is challenging. Context may make a difference. For example, if you have known someone for years who has always responded promptly to your e-mails or texts, but now that person hasn’t responded in over a day, you may have reason for concern. That person’s behavior doesn’t match what you are familiar with, and this sudden, unexplained change in the established pattern may mean that you need to follow up. Nonverbal Communication Is Fluid Figure 4.3 What are each of these images telling us? Chances are you have had many experiences where words were misunderstood or where the meaning of words was unclear. When it comes to nonverbal communication, meaning is even harder to discern. We can sometimes tell what people are communicating through their nonverbal communication, but there is no foolproof “dictionary” of how to interpret nonverbal messages. Nonverbal communicationThe process of conveying a message without the use of words. is the process of conveying a message without the use of words. It can include gestures and facial expressions, tone of voice, timing, posture, and where you stand as you communicate. It can help or hinder the clear understanding of your message, but it doesn’t reveal (and can even mask) what you are really thinking. Nonverbal communication is far from simple, and its complexity makes our study and our understanding a worthy but challenging goal. Where does a wink start and a nod end? Nonverbal communication involves the entire body, the space it occupies and dominates, the time it interacts, and not only what is not said, but how it is not said. Try to focus on just one element of nonverbal communication and it will soon get lost among all the other stimuli. Let’s consider eye contact. What does it mean by itself without context, chin position, or eyebrows to flag interest or signal a threat? Nonverbal action flows almost seamlessly from one to the next, making it a challenge to interpret one element or even a series of elements. We perceive time as linear, flowing along in a straight line. We did one task, we’re doing another task now, and we are planning on doing something else all the time. Sometimes we place more emphasis on the future, or the past, forgetting that we are actually living in the present moment whether we focus on “the now” or not. Nonverbal communication is always in motion, as long as we are, and is never the same twice. Nonverbal communication is irreversible. In written communication, you can write a clarification, correction, or retraction. While it never makes the original statement go completely away, it does allow for correction. Unlike written communication, oral communication may allow “do-overs” on the spot: you can explain and restate, hoping to clarify your point. You can also dig the hole you are in just a little bit deeper. The old sayings “When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging” and “Open mouth, insert foot” can sometimes apply to oral communications. We’ve all said something we would give anything to take back, but we all know we can’t. Oral communication, like written communication, allows for some correction, but it still doesn’t erase the original message or its impact. Nonverbal communication takes it one step further. You can’t separate one nonverbal action from the context of all the other verbal and nonverbal communication acts, and you can’t take it back. In a speech, nonverbal communication is continuous in the sense that it is always occurring, and because it is so fluid, it can be hard to determine where one nonverbal message starts and another stops. Words can be easily identified and isolated, but if we try to single out a speaker’s gestures, smile, or stance without looking at how they all come together in context, we may miss the point and draw the wrong conclusion. You need to be conscious of this aspect of your nonverbal behavior, to quote another old saying, “actions speak louder than words.” This is true in the sense that people often pay more attention to your nonverbal expressions more than your words. As a result, nonverbal communication is a powerful way to contribute to (or detract from) your success in communicating your message to others. Nonverbal Communication Is Fast Let’s pretend you are at your computer at work. You see that an e-mail has arrived, but you are right in the middle of tallying a spreadsheet whose numbers just don’t add up. You see that the e-mail is from a coworker and you click on it. The subject line reads “pink slips.” You could interpret this to mean a suggestion for a Halloween costume or a challenge to race for each other’s car ownership, but in the context of the workplace you may assume it means layoffs. Your emotional response is immediate. If the author of the e-mail could see your face, they would know that your response was one of disbelief and frustration, even anger, all via your nonverbal communication. In the same way, you express yourself via nonverbal communication all the time without much conscious thought at all. You may think about how to share the news with your partner and try to display a smile and a sense of calm when you feel like anything but smiling. Nonverbal communication gives our thoughts and feelings away before we are even aware of what we are thinking or how we feel. People may see and hear more than you ever anticipated. Your nonverbal communication includes both intentional and unintentional messages, but since it all happens so fast, the unintentional ones can contradict what you know you are supposed to say or how you are supposed to react. Nonverbal Communication Can Add to or Replace Verbal Communication People tend to pay more attention to how you say it than what you actually say. In presenting a speech this is particularly true. We communicate nonverbally more than we engage in verbal communication and often use nonverbal expressions to add to, or even replace, words we might otherwise say. We use a nonverbal gesture called an illustrator to communicate our message effectively and reinforce our point. Your coworker Andrew may ask you, “Barney’s Bar after work?” as he walks by, and you simply nod and say “yeah.” Andrew may respond with a nonverbal gesture, called an emblem (a Nonverbal gesture that carries a specific meaning and can replace or reinforce words) by signaling with the “OK” sign as he walks away. In addition to illustrators or emblematic nonverbal communication, we also use regulators. “Regulators are nonverbal messages which control, maintain or discourage interaction” (McLean, 2003). For example, if someone is telling you a message that is confusing or upsetting, you may hold up your hand, a commonly recognized regulator that asks the speaker to stop talking. Let’s say you are in a meeting presenting a speech that introduces your company’s latest product. If your audience members nod their heads in agreement on important points and maintain good eye contact, it is a good sign. Nonverbally, they are using regulators encouraging you to continue with your presentation. In contrast, if they look away, tap their feet, and begin drawing in the margins of their notebook, these are regulators suggesting that you better think of a way to regain their interest or else wrap up your presentation quickly. “Affect displays are nonverbal communication that express emotions or feelings” (McLean, 2003, p. 77). An affect display that might accompany holding up your hand for silence would be to frown and shake your head from side to side. When you and Andrew are at Barney’s Bar, smiling and waving at coworkers who arrive lets them know where you are seated and welcomes them. “Adaptors are displays of nonverbal communication that help you adapt to your environment and each context, helping you feel comfortable and secure” (McLean, 2003, p. 77). A self-adaptor involves you meeting your need for security (e.g., playing with your hair) by adapting something about yourself in way for which it was not designed or for no apparent purpose. Combing your hair would be an example of a purposeful action, unlike a self-adaptive behavior. An object-adaptor involves the use of an object in a way for which it was not designed. You may see audience members tapping, chewing, or playing with their pencils while ignoring you and your presentation. Or perhaps someone pulls out a comb and repeatedly rubs a thumbnail against the comb’s teeth. They are using the comb or the pencil in a way other than its intended design, an object-adaptor that communicates a lack of engagement or enthusiasm in your speech. Intentional nonverbal communication can complement, repeat, replace, mask, or contradict what we say. When Andrew invited you to Barney’s, you said, “Yeah” and nodded, complementing and repeating the message. You could have simply nodded, effectively replacing the “yes” with a nonverbal response. You could also have decided to say no but did not want to hurt Andrew’s feelings. Shaking your head “no” while pointing to your watch, communicating work and time issues, may mask your real thoughts or feelings. Masking involves the substitution of appropriate nonverbal communication for nonverbal communication you may want to display (McLean, 2003). Finally, nonverbal messages that conflict with verbal communication can confuse the listener. Table 4.3 "Some Nonverbal Expressions" summarizes these concepts. Table 4.3 Some Nonverbal Expressions Term Definition Adaptors Help us feel comfortable or indicate emotions or moods Affect displays Express emotions or feelings Complementing Reinforcing verbal communication Contradicting Contradicting verbal communication Emblems Nonverbal gestures that carry a specific meaning and can replace or reinforce words Illustrators Reinforce a verbal message Masking Substituting more appropriate displays for less appropriate displays Object-adaptors Using an object for a purpose other than its intended design Regulators Control, encourage, or discourage interaction Repeating Repeating verbal communication Replacing Replacing verbal communication Self-adaptors Adapting something about yourself in a way for which it was not designed or for no apparent purpose Nonverbal Communication Is Universal Consider the many contexts in which interaction occurs during your day. In the morning, at work, after work, at home, with friends, with family, and our list could go on for quite a while. Now consider the differences in nonverbal communication across these many contexts. When you are at work, do you jump up and down and say whatever you want? Why or why not? You may not engage in that behavior because of expectations at work, but the fact remains that from the moment you wake until you sleep, you are surrounded by nonverbal communication. If you had been born in a different country, to different parents, and perhaps as a member of the opposite sex, your whole world would be quite different. Yet nonverbal communication would remain a universal constant. It may not look the same, or get used in the same way, but it will still be nonverbal communication in its many functions and displays. Nonverbal Communication Is Confusing and Contextual Nonverbal communication can be confusing. We need contextual clues to help us understand, or begin to understand, what a movement, gesture, or lack of display means. Then we have to figure it all out based on our prior knowledge (or lack thereof) of the person and hope to get it right. Talk about a challenge. Nonverbal communication is everywhere, and we all use it, but that doesn’t make it simple or independent of when, where, why, or how we communicate. Nonverbal Communication Can Be Intentional or Unintentional Suppose you are working as a salesclerk in a retail store, and a customer communicated frustration to you. Would the nonverbal aspects of your response be intentional or unintentional? Your job is to be pleasant and courteous at all times, yet your wrinkled eyebrows or wide eyes may have been unintentional. They clearly communicate your negative feelings at that moment. Restating your wish to be helpful and displaying nonverbal gestures may communicate “no big deal,” but the stress of the moment is still “written” on your face. Can we tell when people are intentionally or unintentionally communicating nonverbally? Ask ten people this question and compare their responses. You may be surprised. It is clearly a challenge to understand nonverbal communication in action. We often assign intentional motives to nonverbal communication when in fact their display is unintentional and often hard to interpret. Nonverbal Messages Communicate Feelings and Attitudes Steven Beebe, Susan Beebe, and Mark Redmond offer us three additional principals of interpersonal nonverbal communication that serve our discussion. One is that you often react faster than you think. Your nonverbal responses communicate your initial reaction before you can process it through language or formulate an appropriate response. If your appropriate, spoken response doesn’t match your nonverbal reaction, you may give away your true feelings and attitudes (Beebe, Beebe and Redmond, 2002). Albert Mehrabian (1972) asserts that we rarely communicate emotional messages through the spoken word. According to Mehrabian, 93 percent of the time we communicate our emotions nonverbally, with at least 55 percent associated with facial gestures. Vocal cues, body position and movement, and normative space between speaker and receiver can also be clues to feelings and attitudes. It Isn't Always What We Say Is your first emotional response always an accurate and true representation of your feelings and attitudes, or does your emotional response change across time? We are all changing all the time, and sometimes a moment of frustration or a flash of anger can signal to the receiver a feeling or emotion that existed for a moment but has since passed. Their response to your communication will be based on that perception, even though you might already be over the issue. This is where the spoken word serves us well. You may need to articulate clearly that you were frustrated, but not anymore. The words spoken out loud can serve to clarify and invite additional discussion. We Believe Nonverbal Communication More than Verbal Building on the example of responding to a situation with facial gestures associated with frustration before you even have time to think of an appropriate verbal response, let’s ask the question, what would you believe, someone’s actions or their words? According to William Seiler and Melissa Beall, most people tend to believe the nonverbal message over the verbal message. People will often answer that “actions speak louder than words” and place a disproportionate emphasis on the nonverbal response (Seiler and Beall, 2000). This is why it is important for us to be aware of our own nonverbal communication and ensure we are communicating what we mean. In our next section, we will discuss some of the specific types of nonverbal communication. · Reduction in eye contact while engaged in a conversation · Awkward pauses in conversation · Higher pitch in voice · Deliberate pronunciation and articulation of words · Increased delay in response time to a question · Increased body movements like changes in posture · Decreased smiling · Decreased rate of speech Key Takeaways · Nonverbal communication is the process of conveying a message without the use of words; it relates to the dynamic process of communication, the perception process and listening, and verbal communication. · Nonverbal communication is fluid and fast, universal, confusing, and contextual. It can add to or replace verbal communication and can be intentional or unintentional. · Nonverbal communication communicates feelings and attitudes, and people tend to believe nonverbal messages more than verbal ones. Bibliography Beebe, S. [Steven], Beebe, S. [Susan], & Redmond, M. (2002). Interpersonal communication relating to others (3rd ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon. Business Performance. (n.d.). Effective communication in the workplace. Retrieved from http://www.businessperform.com/workplace-communication/workplace_communication.html. Gaudin, S. (n.d.). Alcatel-Lucent gets social with company communication. Computerworld. Retrieved from http://www.computerworld.com/s/article/9179169/Alcatel_Lucent_ gets_social_with_company _communication?taxonomyId=209&page Number=3. McLean, S. (2003). The basics of speech communication. Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon. Mehrabian, A. (1972). Nonverbal communication. Chicago, IL: Aldine Atherton. Mehrabian, A., & Ferris, S. R. (1967). Inference of attitudes from nonverbal communication in two channels. Journal of Consulting Psychology, 31(3): 248–58. Seiler, W., & Beall, M. (2000). Communication: Making connections (4th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon. Licensing Information This work “Communicate Effectively” is a derivative of Human Relations adapted by Saylor Academy and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 License without attribution as requested by the work's original creator or licensor. “Communicate Effectively” by UMGC is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 License. Suggested APA Reference Format Communicate effectively. (2012). Human Relations. Saylor Academy. Retrieved from https://saylordotorg.github.io/text_human-relations/s08-communicate-effectively.html In text citation (“Communicate Effectively,” 2012) 20